Completely Numb

     Sometimes people turn out to be not what they seem even people you have known personally for years. Maybe you only see what you want to see in them. Over the years you completely subscribe to these beliefs putting labels on them such as “wholesome,” “self respecting,” “classy,” “special,” and “a friend.” Seeing a series of pictures of the girl that you have known and have held in such high regard for years, in a club dancing topless with some other woman while hordes of horny drunk men objectify her really delivers a swift, strong sucker punch in the gut and confirms what that nagging inner voice that you so deliberately ignored for years has been saying all along.

     I know only good can come from this as I still hurt over the dissolution of our friendship and the painful shit that led up to it. This will only help me disassociate myself from that whole mess, but for now the oxymoron of “feeling numb,” never felt so painfully precise.